braindribbles

The Hair – six months on

Posted on: 18/05/2015

Blue navy purple 1

Hi!

I just thought I’d update everyone since I’m almost exactly six months into the new direction hair-wise. And as those who actually have to see me most days will verify, I’ve not looked back.

Yep. Every new colour brings a little adventure, a small amount of excitement and a lot of happiness into my life.

Actually, the happiness was there already. I’m just expressing it through the hair.

You see, the great thing about doing something a bit nuts like this is, you find yourself in a place mentally where you just don’t care if other people think you’re crazy. Yes, some people make comments, but most of them are nice. And you tend to ignore the very occasional ones that aren’t, since they’re almost always from people I don’t know and whose opinion isn’t important to me.

Since the end of last year, I’ve got very used to dyeing my hair a heap of bright colours. Right now it’s a mix of bright blue, navy and violet.

Blue navy purple 2

Before that it was blue and green.

2tone fishbowl blue haired freak 2

Before that it was flourescent red.

faded nuclear red

And I’ve loved them all. In the process I’ve forgotten my self-consciousness, which was still riding quite high when I wrote the first post about this. I’m getting to the point here slowly, I promise.

2015 has possibly been the most enjoyable year for me, ever. Because, while I still have hang-ups about various aspects of my appearance, for the first time ever, two things have happened.

  1. I am being ME.
  2. I feel like my life is the journey I want it to be.

About the first one, being me, well, I have to admit, a year ago, I didn’t think being me involved crazy hair. But then I did it, and it was so right for me. I look in the mirror and it’s right. It’s me. That’s who I am. There may be more of this me – it may evolve as I do. That’s fine. But I feel happy about the feelings inside being channelled through how I present myself.

As for the second thing. I’ve tried a lot of things that didn’t fit very well. My perseverance kept them going long after others might have given up. A big part of why I tried all those things was because I lacked the confidence to do what I love the most.  I felt that if I kept persevering, something would work. I was desperate to do something well, not realising I had it all along if I focussed my efforts in alignment with my natural instincts and passions.

pink hair jan 2015

But those things that didn’t work out…they are part of what put me on the right track. I don’t regret a single one of them. They are part of the journey that got me to this point. Each decision, each challenge, each struggle, gave perspective and with help, eventually put me on track to find the joy – real joy – and fulfilment that until that point I had only found in my children.

It was incredibly difficult to give up so many things. I felt like I was letting people down. Good people that I liked and cared about a lot – and I still do! I felt that I was yet another failure for not seeing those projects through to the end… I felt a great deal of guilt for months…until the me underneath started to shine through again.

That was when I knew it had been the right decision. Finally, I could see where I was going, and it was a clear road! I knew what to do, I knew it would take just as much effort as many of the other less successful things I had done. Only this time my heart was truly in it. My passion, my talents and my instincts were all in alignment.

profile pic 6 dec

The last few months have been filled with joy and happiness because of this. My self-confidence, even though there’s plenty of room for improvement, has stayed high. My children are that much more fun to be around because I’m able to enjoy them properly without feeling guilty about not doing all the other things. My husband is happier because I’m happier and it rubs off.

It’s not been easy, but boy, I’ve come a long way in a year. In all my adult life I’ve never been happier or felt more fulfilled. And it keeps getting better as my confidence grows and I persevere my passions.

So this is really a post to acknowledge that there really is a lot of joy in my life. And to appreciate what a blessing it really is.

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