How to relieve impacated intestines, and other search terms that found this blog

Posted on: 31/08/2011

I’m stealing this idea from the Laughing Housewife. My version is likely to be less amusing since I get less traffic, and I post less often, but you never know.  If in doubt, go and look at her latest one – it will make you laugh.

OK, so at the top of the list, I have bunk bed.  Is nobody advertising bunk beds for sale on the internet? Are people finding me through lack of anything better to click on? (By the way, the British Heart Foundation will be taking the bunk bed away soon – yippee!)

The next one I quite like: Microwave phobia.  Way back when I thought I was being funnier than I really was, I did a how-to for people scared of using their microwave.  Funny? No. Useful. Well, I hope so.  Generally people came back with other ideas for how to use the microwave rather than telling me how I’d changed their life.

Now I’m confused by the third highest entry – partogram.  I only mentioned it once after a study day I went to back in June. Partograms are amazing , but their light seems to be hidden under some bush or other if people are stooping so low as to click on me.

In equal third place? Reflective journal. Well, that’s wonderful! Seriously. People have wondered about reflective journals and found some of mine. (Hope they weren’t bored to tears, mind you. They are the least humorous of all my posts – more for my benefit than anyone else’s really. You’re all amazing for putting up with them.)

Next  – comes snob.  I’ve only mentioned it twice (here and here)since starting this blog. Surprising that nobody else seems to be talking about snobbery – perhaps they’re too stuck up..?

surely you all come to my blog to see pictures like this?

Now for a list of the truly bizarre:

kids sliding on their knees (why, why would you type this into a search?)

ice cube pouches (???)

child question mark (I didn’t even know they had adult question marks)

large quantity rice in microwave (really? loose grains all over the place and all?)

can i do zumba if i’m nursing (yes, if your bra can stand up to it, but why ask me?)

how to deal with people who are scatterbrain (well, if you can deal with me, you know how)

is it illegal to swear at cold callers (no! but it’s much more fun to subject them to mind-games)

+when were chew pouches put on the market? (I don’t know. What are chew pouches anyway?)

baby commando (I now have visions of a baby in fatigues and camouflage make-up crawling through the undergrowth)

belieeeeve (indeeeeeed. I think I know where that came from.)

laundry sock theaves (is that a thief who lives in the eaves?)

have your cake and eat it too (yes please!)

enfield krispy kreme drive through (???  but now I want a krispy kreme.)

how to relieve impacated intestines (??? even more, but now I’m worried about the krispy kremes), and finally…

, i am going to keep my reflective journal updated.  (Good for you.)

* * *

I admit it.  That was actually quite fun.

Mind you, it’s going to be another year or thereabouts before I have enough new search engine terms to repeat the exercise.  I can hardly wait.

Thanks, Tilly!


3 Responses to "How to relieve impacated intestines, and other search terms that found this blog"

You’re welcome! Love some of the searches 🙂

Thanks – your ones made me laugh out loud so often I thought it must be worth a try 🙂

Love those searches ! I had a rather yucky one the other day, did a post called ‘Scary Ass childrens tv programmes’ or something like that – and I still managed to come up when someone google ‘childrens ass’.
Not good 😦
Mind you I do get some funny old ones – loved ‘baby commando’ especially !

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