Quantifying love, part 2

Posted on: 24/01/2011

That Plinky prompt that nudged me into writing my last blog got me thinking.

Good relationships stand the test of time, I said in reply to a comment.

Well, luckily for me that’s certainly the case.  You learn to grow and give with the relationship, and as long as the balance of give and take is mostly level, it makes for a very strong bond.  I’m doing better at the growing and giving.  Though I have my moments (usually around the same time each month) of growling and grumping, I’m vastly ahead of how I used to be.

And I have my wonderful husband to thank for that.  A rare quality in a man (well, certainly in the ones I’ve had relationships with), he has a way of helping you be a better person without making you feel bad that you weren’t better in the first place.

If that makes even the slightest bit of sense.

The most testing times of our relationship have been when life in general has been difficult.  I see other couples who seem happy together, in very different ways.  I sometimes wonder if they are this happy all the time, or, like me, they have the odd rough patch here and there.  You have to see a lot of a couple for them to drop the polite front.

Actually, one of the things I think that works in relationships is to try and maintain a certain level of civility.  I’d be interested to hear your opinions – let me know what you think.

And I shall leave you with my favourite quote about love, which I first heard in the movie Captain Corelli’s Mandolin.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away.

Oh yes. And it’s better.


2 Responses to "Quantifying love, part 2"

I remember seeing a schmaltzy card somewhere which gave the analogy of how the bond between a married couple should grow. They compared it to two rocks lying next to one another in a stream. When violent storms are raging, the pebbles are tumbled about by the rushing waters. In this way more and more of the rough edges are smoothed away, until after many years, the smooth stones can lie together peacefully, and let the turbulent water wash over them without disturbing them.
It’s been a useful story to remember!

What a lovely concept, and how true. I’ll remember that one!

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